A boys best friend.
Hi guys,
I've been thinking about writing this blog for a while now but wasn't really sure how best to write it as it's quite personal. I'm still not too sure now but I'm going to give it a go anyway. For those who don't know, I have three children. Evie who's 9, Sam is 7 and my youngest is Ash who's 2. Now everyone says each child is different, they all grow at their own pace and that you shouldn't compare another child's attributes to another. And this is so true. But the difference in my three kids is just unreal. They each have their own little quirks, each have their own way of expressing their feelings but out of the three, Sam struggles the most. And it's Sam who I do worry about the most. Not so much his behaviour because he's a good kid it's just.... there's something going on that I can't quite put my finger on. He's a sensitive soul and is the type to stand on the side and watch rather than join in. And that's completely fine, except I can see in his eyes that he want's to join in, but either doesn't know how or he's afraid! I say 'Do you fancy a go Sam?' to which he just replies 'Uh, no I'm fine'. The first time we took him to the local swimming baths it took him 25 minutes to pluck up the courage to get in the water, despite my encouragement and the fact that we too were also in the water. But the reason I'm writing this now is that since we've had our little dog 'Lucy', I've noticed a change in Sam. There was a time where dogs petrified him. It got to a point where he refused to leave the house for fear of one being out on their walk.
We'd wanted a dog for years, it was always on the list of things we wanted but I just didn't see how this would be possible. Especially now. So, my sister got one instead. A beautiful golden retriever/cocker spaniel mix. He was beautiful. We introduced Sam to 'Thor' when he was just a pup. He was a bit apprehensive about it but Thor was only small at the time and so all things considering Sam coped really well. However, as Thor grew so did his playfulness and at times was a bit too boisterous for Sam to cope with. Slowly we built up the time that they spent together. My sister used to bring him to the house for a few minutes each day and build up the time he spent with us slowly over a few weeks. It wasn't easy. The first few times Sam refused to come downstairs. I constantly questioned if we were doing the right thing. And then one day I decided to look after Thor by myself. Sam was with me of course but I thought that if it was just me and him, he'd trust that I wouldn't put him in any danger. My sister dropped the dog off in the morning and was going to pick him up just before lunch. Sam had made some progress by now. He'd sit on the sofa with his legs tucked in but he was in the same room as a dog and that was good enough for me. Over time Sam's confidence grew and grew. He'd sit and stroke Thor during his quieter times and helped me to prepare his food.
I've been thinking about writing this blog for a while now but wasn't really sure how best to write it as it's quite personal. I'm still not too sure now but I'm going to give it a go anyway. For those who don't know, I have three children. Evie who's 9, Sam is 7 and my youngest is Ash who's 2. Now everyone says each child is different, they all grow at their own pace and that you shouldn't compare another child's attributes to another. And this is so true. But the difference in my three kids is just unreal. They each have their own little quirks, each have their own way of expressing their feelings but out of the three, Sam struggles the most. And it's Sam who I do worry about the most. Not so much his behaviour because he's a good kid it's just.... there's something going on that I can't quite put my finger on. He's a sensitive soul and is the type to stand on the side and watch rather than join in. And that's completely fine, except I can see in his eyes that he want's to join in, but either doesn't know how or he's afraid! I say 'Do you fancy a go Sam?' to which he just replies 'Uh, no I'm fine'. The first time we took him to the local swimming baths it took him 25 minutes to pluck up the courage to get in the water, despite my encouragement and the fact that we too were also in the water. But the reason I'm writing this now is that since we've had our little dog 'Lucy', I've noticed a change in Sam. There was a time where dogs petrified him. It got to a point where he refused to leave the house for fear of one being out on their walk.
I remember taking the boys for a walk to the Rugby field at the back of our house. Evie was at her friends and so it was just me, Andy and the boys. So, we got the football and headed off to the field. We'd only managed to get round the corner of our estate when Sam turned back. "Where are you going Sam?" I said. To which he replied "I'm going home!" As I turned back towards Andy I could see what had him so worried. There was a young man out walking his golden retriever. Beautiful dog too. I didn't know what to do for the best, take Sam home? He'd be running home forever if I did that. So gently I managed to persuade him to continue our walk. By the time he agreed to come back, the dog had gone anyway so he was more than happy to continue. However, once we arrived at the field it was a completely different story. Although they were quite a distance away there were two other dogs out for a walk. They were both on leads and showed no interest in us whatsoever, so me and Andy tried our hardest to just pretend they weren't there. We kicked the ball around, Ash joined in as best he could and we ran around a bit to blow off some cobwebs. Sam, although wanting to join in couldn't take his eyes off the dogs. Checking every few seconds to see if they were coming closer. We tried to distract him as best we could but then he really start getting into a panic. The tears came, he was shaking and I felt absolutely awful for letting him get into this state! I said to Andy that I wanted to take him home, getting quite upset myself. He had no reason to be afraid of dogs. He'd never been in a situation where another dog had hurt him in anyway so I was finding it really difficult to understand his thought process. We said that we'd take him home and he started to calm down as we walked hand in hand towards the road and back to our house. Now we live on a very quiet estate. The road running past is used by very few cars which is just as well, because as we walked along the path, another dog walker came from nowhere and even-though the dog was on the lead, Sam panicked! Let go of my hand and ran into the road!! By now I was beside myself! All of his awareness for his safety had gone out of the window, all he could think about was getting away from this dog! We arrived home with no physical harm done but we were all in a state! I just couldn't see a way around this! I kept thinking what if a car had been going along?! He just had no regard for his safety at all and this really worried me! And then one day, I remember telling someone about what had happened and they simply said, you should get him a dog! And I thought don't be so stupid, the lad is petrified of them and you're suggesting we bring one in the house!
We'd wanted a dog for years, it was always on the list of things we wanted but I just didn't see how this would be possible. Especially now. So, my sister got one instead. A beautiful golden retriever/cocker spaniel mix. He was beautiful. We introduced Sam to 'Thor' when he was just a pup. He was a bit apprehensive about it but Thor was only small at the time and so all things considering Sam coped really well. However, as Thor grew so did his playfulness and at times was a bit too boisterous for Sam to cope with. Slowly we built up the time that they spent together. My sister used to bring him to the house for a few minutes each day and build up the time he spent with us slowly over a few weeks. It wasn't easy. The first few times Sam refused to come downstairs. I constantly questioned if we were doing the right thing. And then one day I decided to look after Thor by myself. Sam was with me of course but I thought that if it was just me and him, he'd trust that I wouldn't put him in any danger. My sister dropped the dog off in the morning and was going to pick him up just before lunch. Sam had made some progress by now. He'd sit on the sofa with his legs tucked in but he was in the same room as a dog and that was good enough for me. Over time Sam's confidence grew and grew. He'd sit and stroke Thor during his quieter times and helped me to prepare his food.
Now, my in-laws have a black and white cocker spaniel called Harry. He'll be 10 years old this year and he's the kindest dog you could meet. But when Sam went round, they'd always put Harry in the garden to save Sam fretting. But the pinnacle moment for me was when Sam put his shoes on and went out to the garden to play with Harry of his own accord!! And my heart just soared. He'd done it! He'd overcome his fear of dogs! I was so proud of him and he was proud of himself too! One night, not long after this had happened, we were reading a story before bed and Sam turned to me and said "Mum, I think I'd quite like a pet dog now, coz you know, I'm not frightened of them any more". So that's what we did!! And we haven't looked back. I'm not saying he's completely ok with dogs, he's still weary of dogs he doesn't know, but he remains calm and slowly, in his own time allows them to come close to him.
Since Lucy arrived I have noticed a dramatic change in Sam. In his confidence, the way he tries to deal with his emotions. Having Lucy there makes him feel like he's achieved something major. And do you know what? He's the 'first' one to jump in the swimming pool now, not the last. His confidence will continue to grow I'm sure but one thing is for certain, without the help of my sisters dog we wouldn't have been able to get this far. I have no doubt now that he and Lucy will become the best of friends. xx
Since Lucy arrived I have noticed a dramatic change in Sam. In his confidence, the way he tries to deal with his emotions. Having Lucy there makes him feel like he's achieved something major. And do you know what? He's the 'first' one to jump in the swimming pool now, not the last. His confidence will continue to grow I'm sure but one thing is for certain, without the help of my sisters dog we wouldn't have been able to get this far. I have no doubt now that he and Lucy will become the best of friends. xx
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