God (i think) is testing me!

Hello... happy new year to you. Um.. It's been a while I know but I'll be honest, I'm well and truly glad to see the back of 2019. This year, I thought, was going to be different. Things were starting to turn around a bit and were going really well. Work changed a bit, I got offered a new post which I took, got Christmas out of the way which is always the same...is over before you know it and then new year. New fresh start, joined Slimming World, my youngest has now started Nursery, things looked on the up. 

Then I woke up this morning, now usually we have to be out the door and in the car by 8am. I start work at half 8 and kids go to school for 8:50 when my husband would drop them off on his day off or it would normally be my sister. But today was Andy's day off. Now I remember waking up to the sound of my neighbour putting her bins out (Monday is bin day) and thinking "oooo somebody's up early", checked my phone... and it's bloody 7:40! We are meant to leave at 8!! Suddenly it's like the opening scene in Home Alone when they're running late for the airport! No-one quite knows what the hell is going on! Now just as we all get to the bottom of the stairs to go into the living room, I can smell something. And my heart sinks as it dawns on me that what I can actually smell is in fact dog sh*t!! I very gingerly pop my head round the door to assess the damage and there is explosive doggy diarrhoea all over my floor! It turns out that my beautiful Cocker Spaniel has a dodgy tummy. So I've now ordered all three kids to sit at the bottom of the stairs and to not move while me and Andy clean and mop the living room floor. Right... that's done. Breakfast. I've already come to terms with the fact that we're going to be late. There is no way round it. So the kids get dressed and eat their breakfast while I run round them sorting things like PE kits and Dodgeball money and forest school kit. Then Ash goes and falls off the chair and we have five minutes of tears and kissing his arm and knees better (he's only 3 by the way). So now it's around ten past 8, all three kids are dressed, breakfast is done, school butties are done, sports kits and forest school kits all done, I'm just about done. I feel like I've done a full day of work before I've even got to bloody work!! But wait, it gets better. I'm just about to leave when I suddenly feel the need to rush to the loo... I've come on! Brilliant! Thank you very much! So i's another quick change and off we go to work and school!! I made it to work for 8:30 and the kids all got to school on time and on the bright side, no one died! Did I mention I forgot my lunch?.....